Most men choose a mate like a redneck chooses a car. The guy walks onto a used car lot and spies this gorgeous convertible along the rear line of the lot, and immediately runs into the office and declares to the salesman that he has to have that car, no matter what it costs!  After he signs on the dotted line, he finally checks the car over. As he gets closer, he thinks; “What is that? Rust?” Then as he peers into the jagged interior at the odometer, he loses his breath thinking, “Oh no, it can’t have that many miles, and what is this, bald tires?”


Is that the right way to choose a life partner? A person cannot wisely choose a partner in life, nor an automobile, unless they first understand what fits best in their own lifestyle, and natural way of living. Do you personally know what your natural way of living is, or are you living accidentally like most of your neighbors? Are you a rooster, (a morning person), or an owl (night person)? Do you love natural forms of exercise out in nature, or inside at a health club? Do you need to surround yourself with people, or are you a loner?  Are you a city person or are you more country? In order to accurately answer those and a myriad of other important questions, a person must have made the journey of self discovery, which in many cases comes after years of accidental living, or tragically, not at all!


This thought is at the heart of my previous article about proper love for oneself. We must love ourselves enough to learn as much as possible about the tapestry of gifts that the Creator placed in us as an individual. He made each of us very unique, and gave us special talents that no one else has. I firmly believe that He also created a mate for each of us, and that our mate will not compete with our life, but will complement it in gentle harmony.


This idea is confirmed in a wonderful book by Dr. Sam Hamburg titled, “Will Our Love Last?” I believe this should be required reading for anyone making the journey of seeking a partner in life. I agree with the Doctor, that love should not be hard work, but rather, it ought to be fun! A person must first be a complete competent and generally happy individual.  Then when a partner comes along, they will complement one another in wonderful ways. The point is that we must first be a complete person, then, we can share our life with a compatible partner. This is also the essence of loving our neighbor as we love ourselves. So what is the correct way to choose a mate? First discover who you really are, and what you honestly need in a partner. Don’t be like the redneck who chooses only with his eyes!

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